Vanilla Survivors

Thinking about my old team...

2010-04-09T05:53:00.000-07:00

Aiyah, nostalgia has hit.

Just to let you guys know that today I thought about each one of you.

Pam and her 200 Starbucks coffee cup holders stacked up like trophies on her table.
Adlena and her broken foot and the amazing way she carried her handbag with her crutches.
Azmin and MCDREAMY. (And her very very cool way of writing about kids stuff for Kids Co magazine...)
Shaan, beautiful Shaan, whose now-husband plotted with me when he wanted to ask for her hand in marriage — Shaan was always my ticket to dreamland.
Alvin, one of the most gifted designers I've ever had the pleasure to work with.
Jenn, an amazing artist, woman of God and my makan kaki.
Cass, whose big limpid eyes I shall always remember being filled with tears at having to write numbers 1 through 100 on a sheet, tear them neatly and fold them for a lucky draw...
Fongfan, Madam Diva, who was gifted for making every woman look like a million dollars. I always think, this must be how God sees these beautiful daughters He made.
Joel, whom I didn't really know, but whose passion to bring out the REAL and the BEST in every subject moved me immensely.
And finally JENN. I walked past a shop in Cathay 2 days ago. There was a huge display of a drawing of a girl-goat by this Hong Kong pop artist, an artist she loved so much her walls were pasted with them...

And that's what started me missing all of you.

In case you're reading.

Love you guys. Keep well. Email me if you have a minute.

Vanilla Potluck!

2009-08-14T18:39:00.000-07:00

August marks our 2nd anniversary!!!

Although Vanilla is no more, I thought it might be cool to get together with the Vanilla cover girls & some other featured girls. Just to chill & makan.

Keep Sat 29 Aug free, 6.30pm onwards!

Karen Tan Shaves for Hair for Hope 2009!

2009-06-17T02:51:00.001-07:00

** I posted this on The Living Room blog, but I thought it's worth sharing it here cos Karen is our very own Vanilla woman!

I received an SMS from actress Karen Tan last week. She told me she's shaving her head in support of Hair for Hope 2009, to raise funds & awareness for children with cancer.

To be honest, I've thought about this for years. I've even come close to taking a deep breath and declaring "Oh what the heck, let's just do it!" But each time, I chicken out because... well, I love my long hair. And losing my mane is tantamount to losing a part of my identity, my femininity.

So when Karen took the plunge, I invited her to come on-air to share her experience. For Karen, it's all about getting more people - especially women - to step forward, and to raise more funds for the Children's Cancer Foundation (CCF). So without hesitation, she said OK.

When I first caught sight of her outside our fish-tank studio, I thought she looked gorgeous. "Bald and beautiful", I tease her. But it's not all smooth-sailing for this mother of two. Firstly, even though she prepared her daughters mentally for her shave, her four-year-old wailed uncontrollably when she first saw Mummy botak. Perhaps she thought Mummy was sick, or perhaps Mummy just didn't look like Mummy anymore?

Also, as an actress, Karen had gigs lined up for months - like Crabflower in August. How will her hair grow back in 2 months? And her project requires her to be in Chinese period costume, almost like a muse or fairy that has wandered out of a Chinese painting.....

"They will be wondering what sort of painting I wandered out from!" Karen quips with a hearty chuckle.

We meet her just 2 days after her shave. She's still wondering if she should put on a Buff to cover her head and avoid stares from the public. In any case, we asked her to demonstrate for us how a Buff is worn. She was going to, but digging into her huge sack of a bag, she couldn't find it - only to realise she had left it in another bag! *haiz*

But as fate would have it, I bump into Karen after work at my block! And since I'm given a second chance, I filmed her on the spot. So here's Karen with the demo:

If you'd like to shave in support of Hair for Hope 2009, the main event will take place on Sun 5 July at Velocity @ Novena Square. There's a minimum $30 donation. For more details, click here.

The Bald & Beautiful

2009-06-16T04:43:00.000-07:00

Karen Tan did what I always wanted to do, but am just too chicken to. On Monday, she shaved her head to raise funds & awareness for children with cancer.

I'll be chatting with her tomorrow in The Living Room about what compelled her to be part of Hair for Hope 2009. Interview's at 10.40am, with repeat at 10.40pm.

It's a big scary step to shave off all one's hair. I don't think I could ever do it! I promise to post some photos of a bald Karen right here, so watch out for it, OK? :o)

Somaly Mam: 100% Vanilla Woman

2009-05-22T18:27:00.001-07:00

** I posted this on The Living Room blog, but I thought it's worth sharing on Vanilla's because we had plans to feature her in Vanilla. Pity it never materialised!

I had nervous diarrhoea the whole morning because I knew Somaly Mam was going to be on our show. Seriously, I had to pop a whole bottle of po chai pills!

I have interviewed many VIPs in my career: from political leaders, heads of MNCs to celebrities. But there is something about this simple remarkable woman that made me feel terribly, terribly humbled and awed.

After seeing her being swallowed up by crowds at the SCWO (Singapore Council of Women's Organisations) event the night before, I felt almost "unworthy" to hold her captive - so exclusively - for an hour. I've never felt this way before.

This is a woman of great courage. A woman so single-minded in her mission to rescue girls sold into sex slavery (some as young as 5 years old) that she is willing to risk even her own life.

And her life has been threatened many times, her home was burned down, her daughter kidnapped and raped. Yet, her NGO - AFESIP Cambodia - has to date rescued over 5,000 girls in Cambodia, rehabilitated them and reintegrated them to society.

But she's compelled to do this work because she herself was raped as 12, forced to marry at 15, and thereafter sold into a brothel where she served 20-30 men a day, against her will. Despite having no education, she was named one of TIME magazine's most influential people in 2009.

A picture is worth a thousand words, so check out her work here:

At the SCWO talk last night, which was part of the Primetime Outreach: Women Leaders series, the host asked Somaly, "You've been to the United Nations, to international conferences and met many world leaders. Who is the one leader you'd most want to meet but have not?"

Somaly laughed. "When I go to these meetings, I don't know these famous people. I am not educated, I don't read magazines or newspapers," she admits with a bashful chuckle. "They pull me to meet the First Lady, I say what is the First Lady?"

But the people who touch her, she knows by name. Like a Singaporean volunteer by the name of June, which she calls "June girl" because she has given of her time and love to the girls at the shelter. For Somaly, no rank or title matters more than Love.

If you'd like to find out more about her life, I'd highly recommend you grab a copy of her autobiography The Road of Lost Innocence. It's available in all major bookstores and all proceeds go to the girls in her Foundation. If it's out of stock, I say place an order for it! It's a powerful book, a must-read for all.

You can also find out more about her courageous work by visiting the Somaly Mam Foundation website. But don't just be inspired, take action! Somaly extends a personal invitation for you to visit the girls.

My Hero Somaly Mam in The Living Room: This autographed copy of her book will remain one of my most prized possessions!

During the news break, I ask Somaly, "What sort of support do you most need right now?"

Somaly's beautiful face breaks into an almost cheeky half-smile. "Just come and see. And you will know for yourself."

The Molly Lee Appeal is announced on Prime Time Morning!

2009-04-26T22:24:00.000-07:00

This morning, Josef Lee, Dr Chia Yin Nin of KKH and I were on Prime Time Morning (with the luminous Suzanne Jung and the affable Steven Chia) to talk about the Molly Lee Appeal.

It was nice. I was in that studio once before, maybe three years ago, with Saleemah Ismail of UNIFEM and Glenda Chong was talking to us about our lobbying for the bill to be passed so that men couldn't have sex with kids overseas without facing justice back home.

Anyway, this morning we were there as part of Channel Newsasia's Singapore Woman Award week of publicity. Molly Lee was last year's winner of the SWA, which was helmed by Vanilla (you would all remember I'm sure).

29 May marks one year since Molly passed away. I've always been so ... dumbfounded is the best word... watching how Josef has really just taken this loss in his stride. When

my mom passed away from cancer, I was bursting into tears every time I heard the word cancer. But not Josef.

The show went well - Josef shared about Molly and his vision for WeAreWonderWomen, and why he feels the need to keep her work going. I shared about how the fund came about — and at this juncture, I want to thank ONG SOH CHIN, my ex-boss, who really championed this all the way, and linked me with Mrs Laura Hwang and Prof Ivy Ng who really made this fund happen. Here's Soch and me having cupcakes — next round, drinks!

Anyway, Dr Chia (a very sexy, husky-voiced dynamo! I really like her!) shared about how positive mindedness went a long way in the recovery of a cancer patient - and Molly was such a great example of that. Even though the disease eventually overwhelmed her, her legacy now lives on, and hopefully, encourages other cancer sufferers to stay mentally strong and positive, because it impacts their recovery.

So! The Fund is up and running! Please spread the word! We will be holding our first fundraising event at the end of May - details to be revealed as soon as I get my lazy butt off my chair and get wheels in motion.

I just want to thank everyone who has been a part of this - in prayer, good wishes, linking people up - and I thank everyone who is going to join Josef and me in our bid to help women with cancer.

Stay tuned!

Finally A Face!

2009-04-09T18:32:00.001-07:00

I loved reading Ee Waun's food column in Vanilla. Some of her stories were heartwarming, others made me laugh out loud (like the one about setting fire to the school's Home Econs room!).

I'd text or email her to tell her, and she'd reply with a virtual chuckle. And that was how it was for months. In some strange way, I felt like I knew Ee Waun - through her writing - but we've never met.

Until two nights ago.

Capella Singapore, the new 6-star property on Sentosa, had an exclusive media dinner this past Wednesday and I went with a colleague. It was free seating, so we settled ourselves at this table of strangers. Conversation was free-flowing, engaging, and I enjoyed myself tremendously.

It was only when the lucky draw segment came along at the end of the evening, and her name was read out that my jaw dropped. Omg, Ee Waun and I were sitting at the same table! *gasp* I'm not sure why we didn't introduce ourselves earlier...

Pam & Ee Waun @ Capella Hotel: We sat at same table & didn't know it!

So that's how Ee Waun and I finally met. And now that we are friends, Ee Waun, SHARE YOUR PRIZE!!! *grin*

7 Ways to Be A Good Friend

2009-03-25T02:20:00.000-07:00

Kids are always a source of inspiration. I always learn lessons on kindness from my 9-year-old daughter simply in the things that she does and says. While I was helping her tidy her perpetually messy desk recently - she takes after me on that - I found a piece of paper on which she had written in multi-coloured crayons, her take on friendship.

It was all the more touching that her little piece of work was meant only for her eyes alone. I guess it's in the innocence of children that we do find that little something in life that's magic. Whether you want to call it the hand of a higher being, or just inspiration, of whatever....it tugged at my heart strings. And again, it became one of these incidental, accidental moments where I am reminded once again to be a better person...simply from the innocent act of a child.

I asked her for permission to reproduce her little guidelines on friendship. I thought I'd share it with you.

7 Ways To Be A Good Friend
1. Always forgive your friend when they do bad things.
2. Do not be rude to your friends.
3. Some of your friends are slow, so do not be impatient with them.
4. When you are in a game, please play fair.
5. Do good things to your friends and they will do good things back to you.
6.Always be kind to your friends.
7. Do not fold your arms and frown. Make sure your attitude and body language is good.

Molly Lives On... In The Molly Lee Appeal

2009-03-23T08:24:00.001-07:00

I'm writing this a little bit prematurely but... I'm too excited to care!

Those of you who have followed and loved Vanilla when it was alive, will remember the winner of our Singapore Woman Award (hey Pam you are right - it may not be us anymore this year but hey, it's still a great idea worth supporting).

Molly Lee was a beautiful, gentle young woman who was a cancer sufferer. When her husband Josef Lee first emailed me to feature her, I was blown away a) by the portfolio he sent of his wife and her blog and what she had done via WeAreWonderWomen.Com. b) by Josef's deep love for Molly, which even as I write this, touches me deeply.

Molly beat over 40 other nominees to be unanimously selected by the panel of judges (Laura Hwang, Prof Ivy Ng of KKH, Saw Phaik Hwa of SMRT, and Alan Nementchik from Guardian) as the winner.

Molly passed away on 29 May 2008, two months after she won the Award.

Josef and I had been in touch since - he wanted to do something to keep alive Molly's passion for other young women cancer sufferers. We discussed a few project ideas but it all came back to the fact that we needed to create a Fund, and ideally, name it after Molly.

A week after I left MediaCorp (no Vanilla, no Theresa, haha) I emailed Laura and Ivy - and I tell you, these two women are super, ultra, mega amazing and they will be my heroes forever. Immediately they expressed their support for a fund, and Yvette Thomasz from KKH's corporate comms, met up with me and Ong Soh Chin (my former boss and a big supporter of Molly too).

Almost instantly Yvette said, "We can name it after Molly!"

So I am very proud and happy to announce that there is now The Molly Lee Appeal, in aid of the KK Hospital Endowment Fund. This Appeal is specifically for women aged 18-50 who suffer from women's cancers. We are currently discussing if this Appeal should also cover HIV/Aids sufferers who are women.

I am now planning our first fundraising event for the Appeal, together with my good friend Edwin Ho, a super talented photographer based in New York. Edwin has recently lost two female friends to cancer too, and this is a cause that is so close to both our hearts.

Stay tuned for news of our photo exhibition/auction fundraiser!

Singapore Woman Award lives on...

2009-03-21T02:37:00.000-07:00

The Singapore Woman Award is back again, and nominations are now open!

I was surprised to hear about it on the radio - the familiar ring of those words. And I was pleased to learn too that it continues to celebrate the ordinary woman who has done extraordinary things.

Of course, I can't help but feel a tinge of sadness that it's now helmed by Channel NewsAsia and not Vanilla. But I guess if MediaCorp has decided to keep it going, and if another BU were to take over the Award, I'm glad it's Channal NewsAsia. So it's all good! *grin*

I still remember going through the piles of nominations last year, reading what each nominator said about the special woman in his/her life, writing summaries for each nominee, meeting with the judges for the shortlisting process, and finally the Big Night itself where Molly Lee won. The memories are still fresh for me.

I hope I get to attend this year's Singapore Woman Award ceremony. Or better yet, to interview the new winner on The Living Room. Let's try to lend our support still, girls!

Captain, Our Captain!

2009-02-20T06:44:00.000-08:00

Today is Theresa's last day with MediaCorp, and the Vanilla team reunited to take her out for a farewell lunch. So brilliant is my dear Shaan to remember that when Threez first joined us, the first place SHE brought US was Swensen's @ Thomson Plaza. So for our lunch date, it was there that WE bought HER.

Vanilla Reunited

(Front, L to R) Jenn Chew, Theresa Tan, Adlena Wong, Shaan Moledina

(Back, L to R) Lindy Tay, Pamela Ho. Absent: Alvin Leow, Fongfan

Adlena has since left MediaCorp and joined SHAPE magazine, so that spunky, sporty girl made her way from yonder to join us. I too have moved to radio, so I flew over from Caldecott after going off-air at noon.

As always, it's wonderful to see the Vanilla girls! Our gatherings are always full of laughter and good ole' conversation. I know it sounds surreal, but our editorial meetings have always been sort of like that too!

We trickle into the room with our coffee mugs, magazines... share ideas, listen to each other, joke and chuckle like mad women, often going off tangent & talking cock, but somehow we manage to create a good product every month that's real and relevant, that speaks to women, and elicits a barrage of reflective letters & email from readers.

And I would say that what Vanilla always had going for it are two things: (1) passionate team members who believe 100% in its value and purpose, and (2) incredible leadership. Threez is definitely that for us: The visionary, full of passion & compassion, who is gung-ho enough to take risks, fight for her "chicks", and make the near-impossible happen.

Threez, I will never ever forget working with you on my IWD story, "Women of the World" (March 2008). To this day, I still can't believe we managed to pull it off: 20pp featuring women from around the world, without compromising on Vanilla's visual standards (Alvin, you were brilliant!). Gosh. "Don't scared! We find photographers in Cape Town, Phnom Penh, Cebu to shoot the women..." YOU ARE MAD.

But that's why I've always felt your support. You often think me MAD, but you give me freedom & license to pursue my ideas because you trust me. And that's so important for all of us who work with you, Threez. We have room to be creative, to explore, to grow. And you always make it a point to hold our hand, groom us, and encourage us. Regular bosses demand and take, but the really good ones give generously, without reservation or condition. YOU are such.

It wasn't at all a sad farewell gathering, was it? *grin* I guess we all know we'll always stay in touch and be firm friends. I know these nuts will always be in my life. And I promise not to disappear from theirs. And who knows, if God wills, we'll get a chance to work together again?

And Threez, because you are forever "VV" in our eyes, we've put YOU on the final cover of Vanilla.

If there ever was a true-blue Vanilla Woman, it's Theresa Tan.

From your Vanilla team... WE LOVE YOU.

MUST. STOP. EATING. CHOCOLATE.

2009-02-10T00:10:00.001-08:00

Adios, Muchachos!

2009-02-02T06:23:00.000-08:00

Today I handed my boss my resignation letter.

I rejoined MediaCorp exactly 18 months ago on 2 August 2007. Hard to imagine how 18 months could have passed so fast — yet, it feels like an era has come and gone with Vanilla.

Thing about me is that I never really saw coming back to MediaCorp as something that was going to last forever. I knew at that point that I was called to come in and steward this precious product for whatever shelf life it was going to have.

At the point I joined Vanilla, I was in the midst of some heavy-duty business discussion with my good friend Nanz Chong-Komo. We had worked on her first book together - the best-selling title ONE BUSINESS, 99 LESSONS — and discovered we had an anointed synergy and complementary strengths. We even had our third babies within 2 weeks of each other!

So our talks were put on hold, but after Vanilla closed, they resumed with fervour — mostly through email and short, sharp weekend meetings (six kids between the two of us = more than a handful).

So now, thank God, looks like our plans have finally grown legs. We will be launching in the next few months, an exciting online-cum-live women's club. I'd describe it as Vanilla Online / Vanilla Live. It's called Nanz Inc.Com, and it will be a centre of activity, learning and community for Asian women.

We're still finalising the look, but early feelers sent out among women leaders like MP Lim Hwee Hua and Nanz's million-dollar Rolodex have yielded very positive responses and a flurry of offers to help.

So today I put in my resignation letter, knowing in my heart this is what I've been called to do all along. Vanilla was such a wonderful, soul-feeding detour for a little over a year. Now, this is where the rubber meets the road. We're going to help women, live, every day.

Vanilla Essence on 938LIVE

2009-01-31T06:26:00.001-08:00

Last Thursday, we had Vanilla girls Karen Tan & Beatrice Chia in The Living Room to tell us about Toy Factory's Sleepless Town.

Karen was so cute. She leaned over, grinned, and said something to this effect, "Hey, let's put some Vanilla in today's interview..."

Anyway, I blogged about our chat on The Living Room blog, so check out if you have time!

Ning aka Magic Babe is also coming on our show, 27 Feb. She's currently in the UK headlining an international magic convention. So we'll let her tell us about that soon! *wink*

Newly Discovered Emails to Vanilla!!

2009-01-11T19:23:00.000-08:00

Just 5 minutes ago I made a really exciting discovery!

I found an old mailbox under the Vanilla mailbox - we had set it up for a challenge we ran in our September issue. It was a "switch to health" challenge, working with Xndo, a company that promotes not just weight loss but keeping weight off and health on.

At first we had received nothing. I was very distraught - I believed with all my heart that Vanilla women did not believe in quick-fixes, but were the sort of women committed to making a lifelong difference in their bodies, minds and souls.

But this morning - Ahhhhh! I found the mailbox titled "xndochallenge" and in it were 21 FRESH UNREAD EMAILS!

Just reading these women's frank and honest sharings about their struggles with weight and height brought my spirit back alive again. My faith has been restored! I could KISS the webmaster but he's quite hairy.

It feels great to know Vanilla women still exist. It was not a figment of my imagination or a product of my making. They live, they breathe, they hurt, they overcome.

So this blog STILL has a reason to exist. I'm overjoyed!

Okay, now I better send them each an email to explain why they haven't heard from us since September 2008...

Overwhelm the Postman!!

2009-01-05T17:57:00.000-08:00

hey Everyone!!

reading Adlena's post and how she received her card from Texas has made me post very quickly.

my first article with Vanilla mentioned letter-writing, that old social thing that was big in the 20th century. i continued writing letters and cards during all of last year, not very often, but certainly as much as i could, and i always got happy responses.

may i suggest that we all find the time to write one card/letter to someone this week? knowing how the year has begun with so much worry and fear and apprehension, i think we all know at least 5 people who could do with a cheering up, especially in the form they least expect it in. we all want to do something big with our lives, but really, it all begins with very little.

i never appreciated receiving chain letters, but man, the effort behind it all...that's something we all could have!!

much love to everyone

Karen

This is about Ron and Me

2009-01-04T06:15:00.000-08:00

The first time I've had any contact or any clue as to who Ron Fletcher is(thanks to Levan Cher at The Body Clinic), was because of a "Sportlight" article I did for Vanilla (Feb 2008).

A year on, I actually got a chance to meet with the disciple of Joseph Pilates himself. I booked him for a 30-min interview initially but our conversation went on for two whole hours. I was just so intrigued and riveted by what he had to share. I never imagined having much in common or being able to click with an Irish/American-Indian 87-year-old gay Gemini like I did. It felt like I was talking to a celebrity, maybe Paul Newman, throw in a couple of demos of back-bending moves. And until what comes next, I thought the feeling was a one-sided affair.

Then a few days later, I got a call from Joyce of iPilates who arranged for my interview and who has the most incredible dog, a deep chocolate royal poodle-lab mix named Coco Chanel (pronounce as "channel"). She said Ron wanted my home address; he had something to send to me.

Turns out it's a Christmas card... all the way from Texas, y'all. But what he wrote inside (in impossibly huge, green letters) moved me further:

" I enjoyed sharing some time with you-- our 'natures' mesh well together and you do your work with style and ease-- I hope you get your foot, with body into Joyce's studio-- It's good work. Stay well, go well. Big Texas good wishes.
p.s. If you come out this way, we'll open the gate. Ron"

I digress: This is going into my "time capsule" of sorts, which include correspondences between my primary classmate, who moved to Melbourne when she was in P1, and I(i.e. from 1987 to 2001; saw how our handwriting morphs and we went from using pencils to ballpoint to computer typo), letters from love's lost and random scraps of paper autographed by the likes of Savage Garden and... Timothy W Go (yes, I got a secret crush on that newscaster!)

Sorry I know this post is completely self-centered but I thought to share and spread around some positive energy (since it's the start of the new year and all), which seems to be seriously lacking these days.

The Fancy Lunch Box

2008-12-29T17:06:00.001-08:00

So soon and it’s the end of the year already. And even before I’ve gotten used to being 40, it’s almost time to turn 41! But what an opportune time to put my first ‘post’ on the Vanilla Survivors blog. Thanks Theresa for letting me join in this lovely community!

The current year is almost ending and as always, I look forward to the promise of the new one. Already it is looking quite exciting, for one small reason: my nine-year-old has expressed a wish to bring ‘fancy packed lunches’ to school for the coming year. (This all came about when we were reading one of Jamie Oliver’s cookbooks at bedtime recently, and we came across a small section on packed lunches which clearly inspired her.) This of course means I am the one to get it going – plan the ‘menu’, prepare it the night before and pack it in time for her to leave the house at 6.30am!

Then again, new ways with food always excite me, and I hurl myself with gusto and culinary derring do at this unexpected challenge. It was a bit of an indulgence but first thing we did was to get hold of a suitable lunch bag complete with ice pack and space for ‘mains’ and other sides. This we set the long suffering Dad to do, and he procured an admirable, necessarily pink one from Tanglin Mall.

Then a couple nights ago, we worked out a list of possible and acceptable foods. May I share a small part of our rather long list? There was Cold soba with tuna; Grissini with farmhouse pate dip; Spaghetti with tuna and peas and a sprinkling of lemon zest; Sausage, bacon and peas with penne tossed in warm butter; Roast chicken with cucumber in mini croissants; Siew mai; Old fashioned pork floss in a white bread sandwich; and even some retro sandwiches we found from Mrs Leong’s old cookbooks – mashed fish sandwich, minced pork and prawns fried on toast, etc.

If Mei Ann was more accepting of herbs, I would have tossed in some fresh basil or parsley into the pasta, cranberry jelly onto the roast chicken, and added a variety of frittatas and quiches into the line up – but she has always declared solidarity with Humpty Dumpty since she was a tot and would not eat eggs (for her, the rationale being when the eating stops, the falling from the wall stops too).

But as I ponder and plan over this childish list, I am reminded that my dear Dad too used to take pains to make lovely packed lunches for us as kids. He would wake up as early as 5 am and put together sandwiches stuffed with roast chicken and topped with paper thin slices of cucumber, char siew sandwiches, bak kwa sandwiches, even roast beef sandwiches moistened with gravy, and gourmet bratwurst with a cocktail toothpick. (All this in the 1970s, too!) All these he would slice with knife point precision and the sandwiches always looked neat as soldiers in the Tupperware, waiting to be downed at recess time with a flask of slushy icy Ribena. And instead of being called nerdy, I remember friends always asked with a tinge of envy what I had brought for recess that day,...and they would take a peek, and closer friends would hazard a bite as we sat on the giant steps to snack mid morning.

It’s a nice, warm and cosy feeling for me, to see that what goes around does indeed come around. That unintentionally, I am happily continuing what my dad did and it gives both my daughter and I a lot of pleasure. And after so long, I am reminded and thankful for what my dear dad did all those years ago, so ungratefully forgotten until now.

The little pleasures in life are rich blessings, and the love of a parent shown in seemingly simple ways, can speak volumes. He may not be able to make those sandwiches now being struck with Parkinsons, but I shall potter over this morning, sit down with him in the garden and reminisce together. And I will not forget to tell him I love him for that and everything else he has done for me (including throwing a good-for-nothing, head banging ex-boyfriend out of the house many many moons ago. Whew!!). I think that is a nice way to end this year, and start off the next one.

Happy New Year, everyone!

The fine line between a Stranger and a Friend

2008-12-26T05:05:00.000-08:00

I have forgotten how much I enjoy making friends. Today I'm reminded that the line between a "stranger" and a "friend" is very fine. And it doesn't take much from us at all. Just a simple hello ~ or a Yakult.

That's how I made a new friend today.

I was shopping at Holland Village on my day off. I bought some dresses from a shop. As I was making my payment, the shop owner said, "I'm Dorothy." I said, "I'm Pam." And just like that, a friendship was born.

As I was walking home after dinner with my parents, I heard someone call out from behind, "Pam!" I spun round and there was Dorothy, bounding out of 7-Eleven with a pack of Yakult.

"I wanted to buy one, but they only sell it in a pack," she said, as she twisted one from the pack and handed it to me. I took the Yakult from her, and we strolled back to her shop together.

Dorothy's (shop) neighbour joined us as he was having his dinner. Her colleague Ying Ying as well. And there we were - all four of us - chatting & laughing around the table like we'd known each other for years.

In the midst of conversation, it struck me how often I've walked past that row of shops, never pausing to think that there's a little "community" of business owners here. Each with a story. Each with a passion, pursued. Each, a person.

I left there over an hour later with a spring in my step. A little confused. A little amused. But greatly inspired by the simplicity of how a friendship can begin ~ with anyone.

And just like that, today turned out to be a day out of the ordinary for me. Because I'm reminded that there are absolutely no limits to whom I choose to extend a bridge of friendship to.

Giving Thanks @ Christmas!

2008-12-24T17:54:00.000-08:00

For me, Christmas is like Thanksgiving ~ partly cos we don't celebrate Thanksgiving here.

And when I think back on 2008, I truly thank God for Vanilla.

For the amazing team I had the privilege to work with, who poured their heart & soul into a magazine that was definitely more than a magazine...

The Vanilla team at our farewell dinner ~ minus Shaan who was out of town & clueless.

For the awesome Vanilla cover girls I got to meet & know, and who continue to inspire me with their lives... I'm thankful for the deep friendships we have formed.

For Fongfan, Jennifer & Joel - our creative team - who gave Vanilla its look. The 200 per cent they poured into each issue & the standard of excellence they set.

More so, they've become treasured friends in my life.

For our readers & supporters who flood our mailbox with letters each month ~ who inspire us with their sharings! How many magazines can boast of readers like ours???

Our magazine may no longer be in the market, but the spirit of Vanilla lives on. And I'm thankful for this online community that continues to keep the Vanilla essence alive.

So THANK YOU for blessing my life. You have enriched it and made me better for it. Here's wishing all of you a blessed & love-filled Christmas!!!

unofficial post

2008-12-17T10:36:00.000-08:00

Something short and just a trial post before resting.

Firstly thank you Threez for letting me write here and it looks so easy as compared to years ago.
2ndly welcome to the blog Lynne! (does any1 remember lynne?)

To me this blog serves as a reminder that although vanilla is not in the market now, it is a legend and if anyone is reading this and wants to pass it on pls do. This is a living legend and it will be for a very long time.

Off to rest.
D!

Letting Go

2008-12-13T01:19:00.001-08:00

At this juncture in my life,

I finally feel ready to LET GO of something I've been hanging on to for far too long,

something that is clearly going nowhere.

Yet there is uncertainty about whether I'm making the right decision ~ for everyone.

Is it enough to listen to my heart and trust my instincts?

Is there such a thing as a "right" and "wrong" decision?

If so, will I ever know if I've made the "right" one for everyone?

Things are as simple or as complicated as we make them out to be.

Maybe it's a matter of making a decision.

Then beginning the process of letting go?

Little Ripples of Love

2008-12-06T16:55:00.000-08:00

Now that I'm with a news station and face the news everyday, I am beginning to see the big picture unfold over time. I've never been so in touch with world & local news before (didn't bother), and really, I must say it's making me feel down.

It's like this dark cloud hanging over everyone. I have friends who are breadwinners, just waiting for their turn to be axed. I have friends in entertainment whose work is affected because there are just less people going out, less tourists coming in.

Like Karen, I worry for my dad who travels to India several times a year (again this month), and thinks we are over-reacting when we tell him it's dangerous. There's just so much fear & uncertainty. And it's not just in Singapore but around the world.

Then recently, Ros & Yu Seung invited me to a presentation of their Enduro Africa trip. It was held at Eden Sanctuary ~ a simple gathering where they shared a slide show with friends & sponsors and thanked everyone. And as I was sitting there listening to them and soaking it in, I felt my heart swell. Here's positive energy for a change. Good news.

Hai-Yen came later, and it was great to see her! We stayed on to watch the video again, catch up, and just hang out till way after the event was over. Hai-Yen is still at it, by the way... the big-hearted energiser bunny who simply can't sit still.

Me with Hai-Yen (yellow) and Ros at the Enduro Africa post-event presentation @ Eden Sanctuary.

She is organising the All-Femme Boot Camp again early next year (postponed because of BKK's unstable situation), at Lao Liang Island. Last year, she brought a bunch of girls from the Andrew & Grace Home up to Krabi for the Airport Run. What an experience it must have been for the girls!

And Hai-Yen is still very much in touch with the girls from AG Home. Just last week, when Val & Kheng's teen musical "It' My Life!" started playing at the University Cultural Centre, Hai-Yen helped to rally the Vanilla cover girls to sponsor the AG Home girls tickets to watch the play. Well, the response was wonderful, and these are the girls we sponsored to go....

The Vanilla cover girls & friends sponsored all these teenage girls from Andrew & Grace Home to watch the musical "It's My Life!" that Val & Kheng Hua produced.

These things make my heart do a happy dance. Because nothing in these depressing times is going to stop our Vanilla girls from creating little ripples of love in their corners of the world.

For Better or Worse, For Here or There

2008-12-02T17:07:00.000-08:00

this is a long post. very sorry. but i think it's something we feel sometimes, esp with those we love.

Swee Chong got home on Monday morning, safe, hungry, and full of bangles for the girls. i would show a photo of him but...i donno how to do leh...

Swee Chong is not only an excellent obs/gyn consultant, he also researches into cervical cancer. he's travelled to all parts of the world, either with KK Hospital (where he works) or by invitation from WHO. he's lectured and performed operations in South America, India and villages in China, as well as in Europe. i give general continents cos i can't remember all the cities, haha, never mind that it's my job to remember things.

but that night, i was furious when he said that he was invited to Tanzania (over Chinese New Year, mind you) to speak. i got furiouser and furiouser (apologies to Lewis Carroll) when he said that Tanzania was actually quite safe, WHO had assured him, etc etc.

you know what came next: how do you really know it's safe? have you been Tanzania? people would say Mumbai was safe too, but is it now? Bangkok? America? Bali? how do you know? how will you ever know? why do you have to do this??

and of course he does it because he has to, it's in his blood and his heart. i am a little angry still cos i know he will go ahead with his plans (Type A, ACS, eldest son, Teochew, conservative Bible-Presbytarian...do i stand a chance?). and i am a little angry cos i understand his decision, and i hate that!! haha.

how will we ever know? we never will, until it's done, and it's wonderful, or it's done, and it's too late. he's not a soldier going to Timor Leste, but because of the madness the world has taken on, he's become a soldier in a different type of war, where bringing change to people struck by poverty and sickness, could well bring danger to himself.

but before i drown in the unknown, i must float on what i do know.

in 2003, when SARS struck, Chong was the only KK doctor who volunteered to work at the obs/gyn ward in Tan Tock Seng. he was paired with another doctor who went unwillingly, some of them weeping. for about 3 weeks, our home was a battle zone, with him stripping of his clothes at the door and all of us being incredibly careful. his own colleagues were shocked at his decision, some even telling me that i can't know what SARS is, else i wouldn't have let him go. as i write this, i am full of angry tears still.

this is the man i married. i married him for a great number of other reasons, but this amazing, humble, fearless side came up only after. he has proven again and again that the work he believes in produces the results that he wants - greater awareness of cervical cancer, better health care, more living women.

other doctors weep and feel sorry for themselves, and protect themselves first; Chong doesn't have time to do that. i married him for better or for worse, in sickness and health, til death we part. Africa is nothing compared to what i feel for him. i still don't want him to go, but i won't stop him.

i hope you all support me in this too.

thank you for reading this.

much love.

Stop the World

2008-11-28T08:07:00.000-08:00

i got a call from my friend Serene this evening. i rarely get to speak to her, mainly because i hate talking on the phone. but tonight, i was reading at a book launch, i'd just done my bit, and the phone rang, and i picked up.

she burst into tears the minute she said Hello, and told me that the Singaporean woman who had been held hostage in Mumbai was her husband's colleague...and she was dead. her husband had just identified her body.

i was at Klee in Portsdown Road, and it was a beautiful evening (did anyone else notice?). there were already stars in the sky, yet the sun hadn't completely set. everyone had been complaining about how hot it was, how humid and sticky. there was a pomelo tree, with some fruit, and everyone had taken turns to joke about how they were going to steal them. Portsdown Road has some really gorgeous flora and fauna.

and still, a woman whom we were assured was safe, is dead.

with my heart sinking a bit lower than in the morning, i messaged my husband Swee Chong to come home immediately. he is now in Hyderabad, and had arrived there an hour or 2 after Mumbai was attacked. he messaged that the next flight out was Sunday morning, he may as well stick to his schedule and return Monday morning. he had a direct flight, don't worry, he won't pass through Mumbai at all, he loved me.

my husband is there because the WHO arranged for him to give a lecture on cervical cancer, his sub-specialty. he's not American or British, he's not in Mumbai or Afghanistan or Iraq or Israel or even Bangkok. he's certainly not near any Somalian pirates. but he's not safe at home with me. what that poor woman's husband is thinking and feeling now...i pray for him, i can only do that.

my definition of home has suddenly changed, because the world is no longer what i had grown up believing it was. my children will not know the sense of freedom and quiet that i had, just as i don't know the upheaval in my parents' young lives. i suddenly feel unable to keep my promise to protect my girls from harm, to be there every time they're hurt, or even to just be there. it's difficult because i don't know what the world will do next.

i can only remind myself daily of what i must be, and do, to continue relationships i have with those around me, and to continue to remember them in prayer, and to tell each one, often, that i care for them.

thank you for starting this blog. there may not be hundreds of entries every day, but reading each one, i remember that we all lead special individual lives, and we press on, not because we're women (though we do that quite well...), or "survivors", but because we're people who know that we can do so much more, and better, and to make a difference in others' lives.

and let's spare a quiet minute for that husband who's been left behind.

Because I wanna...

2008-11-21T23:30:00.000-08:00

...thank the designer girls-- Jenn and Lindy-- for making me this graduation (not goodbye; so clever) card for me. Sweet, a little bit crazy at times, these two.

This is them, sweet:

Alvin took this pic for us btw. But after it's all done, Jenn came to me and said, "Eh, how come you never take with Alvin ah?" And I went, "Er...Yah hor. But never mind lah, Alvin's cool one. He won't mind! Hahaha..." That's Lindy on the left holding on to Mr Nagoya (?) and Jenn on the right holding on to the paper bag, the inspiration for the cover of the card (see the cutout?)! Very creative indeed... and it matches Lindy's pinafore too.

This is 'em a little...ku-ku (if you can make out what they've written, you'll see why):

Yep, I just bid adieu to 15 awesome months in MC today. As for the answer to the question "Where am I heading to next?", let's just say that I'm officially going out of style and getting into shape :)

Anyway, I refuse to call this a farewell you guys cos I know we'll all still meet somewhere somehow... there's also Alvin's and Shaan's weddings, there's FB and you know where to find me. Many thanks to all of you who've been good to me!

"We won't say our goodbye because it's better that way/ we won't break, we won't die, it's just a moment of change."

How Life Looks from the Vantage Point that is 41

2008-11-16T22:24:00.000-08:00

I turned 41 yesterday.

It was fun - yeah I'm still nursing a crazy-painful tum from a bad bout of gastric flu last week, but Hubby and I still managed to down 2 bottles of Taittinger at the Town champagne brunch yesterday *hic*. I came home and my sweet mom-in-law bought me a chocolate cake from Cedele and my kids sang Happy Birthday to Mummeee. Happy :)

So I'm 41. That's 1 year older than last year. So many things I said I was going to do when I turned 40... Didn't do many of them. Sad.

Will this year be different? I want it to be. I NEED it to be. When you get on the other side of 40 you realise you don't quite have as much time left as you initially thought you had! I have plays to write, books to author, songs to compose, a legacy to leave... so many things, so little time.

So I'm doing what I do every start of a new year - just doing it a month and a half earlier this time - I'm making a list and checking it twice. I gotta get it done - okay, the list needs to be more realistic, so I can improve my chances of not sitting here writing this SAME message next year, haha!

Still, I am happy with life - God has been really good to me. Last week I watched my two older kids perform. They have a joy in their step that reminds me - when I was 7 or 9, life seemed a piece of cake. I could choose to do this, or that. There was no skill I couldn't master, if I set my mind to it. My father always made me feel like I could do anything if I really tried - and that's the same belief I pray I give to my children. God has given them talents obvious and hidden - and they can write, paint, dance, draw, imagine, invent absolutely anything they desire. The only thing they really have to do is WANT it.

And that's what I'm telling myself now - there's nothing I cannot do this year that I am 41. All I really have to do, is want it.

I leave you with a (badly filmed) clip of my daughter (that's her with the big pink hairband right in the middle) tap dancing to Boogie Wonderland. I know I'm biaised, but she is REALLY good!

Hit the Road, Jack

2008-11-16T05:24:00.000-08:00

i ran away to KL this past week, and in wanting to recount things, i realised that i no longer have a Vanilla deadline to fill with these thoughts.

oh well. oh blog.

actually, it's always the bus ride to and fro that fill me with the most extreme of feelings. it's incredible how staring out the window, at the vast amount of S P A C E these Melayusians have, the dense forests, the deep greens and brilliant emeralds, the brown cows too lazy to say How Now, the sudden brilliance of hot pink flowers at the top of a tree, with none to be spotted elsewhere...how these scenes give me alternate feelings of happiness, grief, despair and hope.

and if you have an iPod Nano with you (a gift that you unwillingly use because your husband really thought you wanted one, but heck, it's a good thing to have), shuffling songs between Gwen Stefani, The Scissors Sisters, Astrud Gilberto, John Lithgow and Franz Ferdinand, you find your emotions will soar and dip accordingly.

this afternoon, i mostly thought of the year i've had, how high my hopes were, and how quickly and hard they crumbled. how acting, the one thing i can truly say surges in my being, can destroy me. how my daughters are so much like me, and yet, i know they have secret selves that i will never know. how i just want to be a good woman, a good wife, good mother, good friend, and how horribly difficult it can sometimes be.

when Catatonia came on with Make Hay Not War, i wept, thinking of the late Krishen Jit directing me in Iron. he'd asked for a song i wanted to do improvisations with, and i chose this piece. i wept not because of the play and the "great art" i created (cos i didn't) - i wept because i always meant to give him a copy of the song, and i never did, and now he's dead.

when Keane sang The Frog Prince, i played it repeatedly for about 5 times, which i often do when i play it in the car. the poetry, the melody, the yearning and hope to be loved strangely makes my heart jump excitedly each time, and even though the singer was a coke-head when he sang it, it only proves that those of us with great personal problems can still provide some form of comfort and thought (or at the very least, entertainment) for others.

Gwen Stefani's If I Were A Rich Girl got me imagining dancing away with my nutty friends at some nutty club. or at home with my daughters. it's pretty much the same elation actually.

why it is that my life can be reduced to 4.5 hours (including immigration and 20-minute stop at Pagoh) of rubber trees and a crazy mix of music, i can't explain. why it is that sitting still on a reclining seat with the the volume on too loud leads to me wanting to relive some moments, and discard some, is an even greater mystery.

i don't really know why i feel like this, and why i'm blogging it. but i guess it's cos i know you lot will understand, and that makes it alright after all.

"what a difference a day made/24 little hours"

We Heal....

2008-11-15T00:03:00.000-08:00

About a month ago, I had a blackout at home. Both circuit-breakers in my fuse box burnt and there was an awful smell in the whole house. And although I managed to get the power back on, I didn't dare switch all the appliances back on because... hey, the circuit-breakers were not working! It was a Saturday night, so until i could get an electrician to check things out the next day, better to be safe than sorry.

In the middle of that night, I stumbled to the kitchen in the dark to get some water. I had forgotten that earlier in the day, my boys had played one of their imagination games and had shifted the coffee table to block the kitchen entrance (I think it was supposed to be a fast-food counter!). Well, I walked right into it. And what's more, with the house in pitch darkness, I walked into that darn table another 2 more times that night, bruising the same spot on my leg 3 times.

Here's my bruise (left leg) to show for it. There's another smaller one - but just as colourful - on my right leg:

Well, life goes on. I didn't do anything about it cos I knew I couldn't rub it, and medication wasn't going to make a real difference. It was probably broken blood vessels inside that would heal in time. So I left it as it was, and went about my daily chores.

Yesterday, I took a day off ~ my first since I started with 938LIVE.

As I was journalling, with my legs crossed, I noticed to my delight and amusement that my beautiful bruise of blues and purples was *poof* ... completely gone. Not a trace.

Such is the miracle: WE HEAL.

Whether we are aware of it or not, time heals all wounds. And God allows that process ever so gradually. Then one day, we wake up and realise that the pain that used to be so intense is no longer there. The memory of it may linger for a while more, but hey, we are OK.

It's true not just for physical bruises. When we bruise emotionally, I think the same thing happens. At the point when the injury was inflicted, the pain is so intense, so excruciating that we think we will never get over it. But we have to keep living, to keep moving forward, because there are other people counting on us. Life has to go on.

And then one day, we wake up and realise that the intense pain is no longer there. The memory may still be there, but what doesn't kill us, has made us stronger. And hey, we are OK.

Vanilla Cover Girls on 938LIVE!

2008-10-30T04:57:00.000-07:00

Just to let you know that we're having Rosalind Ng (Feb 08) and hubby Yu Seung on The Living Room tomorrow to share about their Enduro Africa experience! They just got back this week, and I'm sure have loads of tales to tell. I'm looking forward to meeting them and giving voice to their stories once again. *grin*

That's on 938LIVE, 11.10am till 12noon, You can catch the interview via our website too: www.938LIVE.sg.

Just added! Ros & Yu Seung in The Living Room!

Pam posing with Ros & Seung's bikes outside Caldecott Broadcast Centre

Also, come 18 November, we'll have Kheng Hua (July 08) and her hubby Yu Beng + 2 teenagers come in to talk about "It's My Life!" teen musical. We'll be chatting about the teenagers' journeys of self-discovery as well the preparation that went into this very unusual and very "real" production. Should be a fun chat cos these are wonderful people to simply have a conversation with!

Just a heads-up for all of you lah. Our Vanilla cover girls still rock!

And Karen Tan... oi... welcome to Vanilla Survivors. Glad you are blogging with us. I miss your Pinch of Salt column. Always made me laugh and laugh! Especially the cross-stitching one, and the National Day "When I grow up" one. Hilarious!

Where is Ee Weun? Can we invite our food columnist to come blog here too? *wink*

I just started reading the news on air today. Seriously, It's sight-reading. They shove the print-out into your hands just seconds before you go on air! *faint* I have a new respect now for news presenters...

Tell Me Lies

2008-10-28T01:20:00.000-07:00

Today, I heard an ELLE staffer say "Real women don't shoot well."

Boy did THAT bring back a whole download of memories.

At ELLE, we were taught "Real people are UGLY." "We don't shoot real women unless they are celebrities." That was so ingrained in me that when I left ELLE, it took me a long time to get back to "normal".

A loooong time. It was a good 5 years before I came to Vanilla, and wasn't Vanilla just the anti-thesis of that ELLE adage!

Last week Fongfan (Vanilla's beloved executive stylist who can make Minnie Mouse look like Gisele Bundchen) came to visit and she gave me a hug. Boy, I missed Vanilla more in that single moment than in all the 5 weeks that have passed. Can you believe it's been 5 weeks since Vanilla died?

Real women - we are beautiful. We can be fashionable, we can be stylish. And as Fongfan has proven, we can shoot well - more than well! Look at all the beautiful real women who graced our fashion pages and our covers! Think of Grace Park from our March 2008 issue - who had everyone saying "Hey who is she? Is she a Korean superstar?"

That real women are lesser than 7-foot amazonians like Gisele, is a TOTAL and ABSOLUTE LIE. I'm sorry, that poor ELLE girl probably doesn't know it, she's just repeating a fascist truism that has been put into her brainwash spin cycle. I know, I've been there. But to say that real women don't photograph well, is just untrue.

I've put the Dove Girls up here - two of them tied together would make the height of Gisele. Now tell me, who's the freak, haha! (I love Gisele - don't get me wrong. I think she is so unfussed by her own celebrity that she really is a real woman who decided to humour the world.)

Don't mean to vent - just that I had an ELLE moment, know what I mean? :)

Back to normal now, back to normal.

...wah finally...

2008-10-28T00:35:00.000-07:00

hullo Mana Vanillas!!

i asked Threez to let me write on this blog (my first contribution ever, in my entire life...) ages ago, but for the longest time, i really didn't know how to do it. i just forgot my password, which is the same password i use for everything but for some reason...

every once in a while, i shock myself by thinking that i missed the deadline for my article again. then i remember i no longer have one.

sucks.

but you guys are terrific, just moving on and getting on with it. me...still cross stitching hahaha, but this time, it's something for me.

i loved writing for Vanilla cos it made me feel part of some people's lives in a normal way, not in the usual unreal setting of the theatre, where i'm always someone i'm not.

it's true, the Vanilla ice-cream did melt, but as they say, though, there's more flavours at the creamery...

thank you for letting me in here...

love

Karen

ps: Threez...Lydia Look played my daughter once...she was 18 and had to play 9...whatever...

Vanilla cover girls are meeting up tomorrow...

2008-10-25T20:23:00.000-07:00

It's a lazy Sunday morning and I'm back from my morning shift (6am to 10am) on radio. Yes, I work on weekends now, and get just one weekend completely off per month. On these work days, I'm up at 4.45am... zzz. So girls, count yourselves lucky!

I still see Vanilla on the newsstands and it saddens me that very soon, we won't find them anymore. So whenever I see one, I still buy a copy. For old time's sake. Did you know that circulation recycles unsold magazines after 6 months? So copies of Vanilla older then 6 months can't be retrieved anymore... like FOREVER. *gasp*

Anyway, the Vanilla cover girls are meeting tomorrow evening for a potluck dinner! Yay! Grace Park has opened her home to us all, and I'm really looking forward to it cos it's at Keppel Bay, and she just moved in to a ground-floor unit with a patio. I hope we get a cool balmy evening, so that we can all sit outdoors! *grin*

Ros and Yu Seung are still in South Africa ~ doing Enduro Africa. Have you checked out their blog lately? It's linked to ours and they've been updating regularly. There are pictures posted too! They look like they are having fun. I am so proud of them! No pictures yet of Princes William & Harry though... *pout* Rosalind Ng! If you are reading this.............

Anyway, I'll take lots of pictures at our Vanilla cover girls gathering tomorrow and post them up on this blog. So watch out for it!!! Girls, if you wanna join us, please come. We can meet up and go together ~ will be fun to catch up with these amazing women once again! *beams*

Have a great Sunday & long weekend! Happy Deepaval! *wink*

Obama For Yo Mama

2008-10-24T02:50:00.000-07:00

I first saw this T-shirt on my boss. She also had one that read "Hillary is my Homegirl".

Frankly I'm dismayed at the way the trunk is trundling towards what looks like an inevitable SlamBam. Okay - I get that McCain is that that unsavoury Uncle who's always looking for an argument. So I guess, at least if the POTUS is a suave guy who appears to be hip, calm and cool (hence has a better temperament for solving problems without pushing the red button every time?) that might be a good thing for us right now ... when it looks like the end of the world, as far as the economy is concerned.

I hear some Republican Christians are calling Obama the Anti-Christ. Maybe because his name rhymes with Osama.

In any case, any entertainment -- including a tongue fight between an Uncle and a cosmopolitan black dude who wouldn't look amiss in a Prada suit -- is welcome these days.

No Time To Bleurrgh

2008-10-22T00:04:00.000-07:00

I'm missing my, missing my Vanilla ice...

Pam is wondering where all us sorry Publishing people have gone. Woman, not everyone has a glam job like yours, okay?! :)

My past week has been spent working for two sets of clients: one, the advertisers (some nice, some nasty). Two, the editorial teams at MPB.

The editors are lovely - but stretched. Don't I know how it feels. Everyone pulls their weight - more than their weight.

Sales are working their bums off. But (can I say this in public) sometimes not very efficiently because everyone's after the same piece of meat (no wonder my Vanilla ice cream melted). Dessert comes after the main meal, after all.

I love them all - I know everyone here wants this to work. There are people here who can well afford not to work - they're doing it because they love the magazines. And if the structure weren't so messed up -- we should actually be moving forward and not running on the spot!

Me... I'm missing Jenn (she's on holiday in Melbourne - bless her). I miss Pam and her "Eh Threez" followed by some incredible you'll-never-pull-it-off idea that she proceeds to pull off. I miss Shaan and Ad - even though they are a 1-min walk away from my desk. I miss Alvin, even though I'm on his back daily about mockups for XYZ clients. I just miss our team - our little Vanilla corner of the world.

Bright spark of the day: Lydia Look comes to visit!!

We featured Lydia as one of our global girls from Singapore - she lives in Hollywood, married to a Taiwanese American stuntman (who sat in our Osim chair for a while as she chatted with me). Lydia's passing through Singers to Taiwan for a family thing, and then off back to LA. She's just done a guest role in Bones, and she's wrapping up post production for Wendy Wu 2! So honoured to have someone so famous in my little roadside office...

Okay it's back to the grind. Thinking up ideas for clients. Finding ways to skirt around tricky issues. Writing advertorial copy.

Bleurggh.

Hullo? Hullo?

2008-10-20T17:25:00.000-07:00

Hey girls, how come so quiet? I've been back in our blog a few times and keep seeing that "urgh" photo Threez posted of me. Quick write! So that the photo will disappear down, down, down the page.......

Are you all very busy these days? You don't know how much I'd love to hear what you've been up to in your little corners of the world. I miss you all..... Hope to catch you at media events some time. Please write!!!

Anyone going for MediaCorp D&D next Tuesday? I'll be there.....

Living Room Scribbles

2008-10-16T21:28:00.000-07:00

I'm having so much fun with this blog thing that Stanley and I have also decided to start our own blog for The Living Room on 938LIVE.

Like Vanilla, we get a fair share of fascinating people on our programme. I've learnt so much from them, and wish I could share my experiences and reflections somehow. If not, like wasted lor!

So Stanley suggested we blog, and I thought "Yeah! Cool!" If you have time, come visit our new baby, "Living Room Scribbles", at livingroomscribbles.blogspot.com.

Check out the New Glam Pam!

2008-10-15T08:04:00.000-07:00

Look who came to visit us ordinary folks at Publishing today! Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you: GLAM PAM!

Seriously, girl, you should dress up like this every day. You're hotter than Jean Danker and Jamie Yeo put together! Phooooowaaarrr!

Me and Mr Jones

2008-10-09T08:19:00.000-07:00

Last night, my fave Mr Jones (the Grocer) turned one and he threw a major birthday bash. I brought my friend, who is nuts about Jones too (the cheese room is her must-go-to-without-fail-everytime-she's-there corner). Obviously, she was super thrilled when she found they were dishing out Beaufort and parmesan-- paired with honey truffle oil (which is like yumm-meeeeee; $59.50 for a large bottle) and crackers and fresh cranberries-- as part of the tapas selection. We were permanently parked where the cheeses were practically the whole night! I couldn't move her cheese, or rather I couldn't move her away from her cheese.

We're going Down-under! Can't get any more Aussie than this.

The highlight of the night was the auction, which raised about S$40,000 (don't quote me on this because I had a bubbly, a martini and half a bottle of pale ale on an empty stomach when all of it was going on) for Jones' adopted charity, the Make-a-Wish Foundation.

So it wasn't only a roomful of party-goers who went home merry and contented; so would the three kids whose wishes--to party with Dora and Barney, to visit Hello Kitty Land in Tokyo and to have a MacBook computer to hone his design talents-- were granted. So kudos and shout out to Amanda Osbourne (thanks for inviting the Vanilla team!) and Bruce Chapman. It was really nice to finally meet you both. :)

And in case you're heading down to the store anytime soon, I hear there are some fantastic Christmas coffrets you can get. The prices range from $72 to $480. Though from their names, seems to me you don't have to use xmas as an excuse to get 'em (read: Cheese Lover's Delight, Jones BBQ, Chef's Selection, Weekend Picnic etc.)

My personal fave is the Platinum hamper because it's jam-packed (no pun intended) with triple berry jam and awesome buncha treats like Prestat champage truffles, sicilian choco biscuits, white truffle glaze and a Babero Hard Torrone-- great for any truffle-chocoholic. You can email dempseyhill@jonesthegrocer.com or call 64761512 to find out more.

Meanwhile, have a good weekend!

Sponsor a teen girl to watch a teen play!

2008-10-08T22:57:00.000-07:00

Remember July cover girls Valerie & Kheng Hua shared about their upcoming teen musical "It's My Life!"? Well, time flies man and tickets are already on sale ~ through Gratecrash (www.gatecrash.com.sg).

Musical debuts 27 Nov, and the Vanilla cover girls are thinking of going together cos there's a group discount if we can get 10 pax. So far, we have 6. Anyone interested to go? [Followers of this blog can also join us! You're most welcomed!]

Val & Kheng will meet us after the musical, so I think it will be fun! We can all have supper together nearby! =P

Anyway, Hai-Yen is thinking of bringing the teen girls from Andrew & Grace Home (www.aghome.org.sg) to watch the musical, and we thought it might be a good idea to "sponsor" a girl each. Group discounted ticket costs only $21.

Anyone keen to join me to sponsor a teen girl to watch the play? :) I think it will be a very moving & powerful experience for them... and it may even open possibilities for them. Who knows?

"It's My Life!" is done entirely by teens and for teens. And the amazing thing is that the kids share their own real-life personal stories, struggles, hopes, fears, dreams... through song. I think Corrinne May contributed a song too! ;P

So if you'd like to (1) go watch the musical, (2) sponsor a teen girl from Andrew & Grace Home, or (3) both..... let me know. I will gladly help coordinate.

I think it will be fun if we ALL went together! :D A Vanilla outing... Shall we? Shall we? Followers of this blog are welcomed too!

A Sleepy Lunch and Fresh-Baked Bread

2008-10-07T19:33:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Jenn, Lindy, Adlena and I decided that the food at Techpoint was just too daggy.

I decided to drive us out to an old, old eating spot my former colleagues at Female (waaaaay back when it was still published by MPH and our office was in Tagore) introduced to me in 1997. It's called Salt & Pepper Cafe and it's situated at the Singapore Teacher's Union building in Teacher's Estate.

Amazingly, it was not only open, it was packed! The old aunty who used to take orders wasn't there anymore but there was the younger lady who was either her daughter or daughter in law.

We sat down and she flittered over and said, "What do you want? What do you want?" and we were like, "Um... one hor fun... does anyone wants mee goreng?"

"Excuse me can you hurry up? Got other customers!" she said.

Jenn's face was a picture of shock and Lindy looked like she couldn't believe her ears. We wound up ordering:

1 x hor fun ("You must say seafood or beef!")
1 x mee goreng ("Eh, if you're sharing you must say or else I give wrongly!")
1 x mixed veg ("You want to try our yong tau fu?")
4 x chicken wings
1 x seafood ngor hiang ("Get one seafood ngor hiang lah!")
1 x egg fuyong

It was too much food, maaaan. We were eating fit to burst. But the bill only came up to $41.

After that, we drove to this traditional bakery on Kalidasa Road - they still make the good old "skinless" loti that we all grew up with. The mere scent of fresh-baked bread tugged at my car wheels till we were parked just outside and bread fiend Adlena was the first one there asking for her "skin-on" loti. We each bought a loaf (except Lindy) and I added one pandan "ice-cream" loaf.

Damage:
1 huge, feed-family-of-8 loaf = $1.80
1 pandan loaf = $.90

Jenn is now saying I'm making her hungry ... Where shall we go for lunch today??

Vanilla clinches 2 Journalism Awards!!!

2008-10-07T05:41:00.000-07:00

GREAT NEWS!!!

Although Vanilla is shut down, it is still not forgotten. We are still winning Awards for our stories! :D

For Apr-Jun quarter, we won:
1. Story of the Month (Apr 08) ~ "Woman, Save the Earth" (Earth Day feature)
2. Creative Series of the Month (Jun 08) ~ "Fighting Fit" (Dee Dee's cover story).

Thanks Joel & Fongfan!!! :-* If you're reading this, I so miss working with you two on the cover shoots. I cannot believe I will never, ever get to do that again... *sob* We were just starting to have fun, weren't we? :(

I was down at Publishing today to settle some stuff. The office felt so different without all of you around. It's like the place is familiar, yet foreign. Like a dream gone wrong.

Anyway, I dropped off some dark chocolate with whole cherries & brandy, and chocolate marshmallows for you. They are with my chocolate buddy, Diane. Pick 'em up from her tomorrow, OK? [Diane - thanks for the caramel chocolate fix!] =P~

Miss you all so much.......... let's meet up SOON.

Contest answers

2008-10-05T19:33:00.000-07:00

Drumroll please....

1 - Cas
2 - Theresa
3 - Pam
4 - Ad
5 - Shaan
6 - Jenn

So, was William spot on? :p The debate begins now. And most importantly, who got the most answers right? Come claim your bottle of bangkit from me!!! Congratulations:)

Desperately Seeking... Writing

2008-10-03T22:31:00.000-07:00

It's funny. Now that writing is "taken away" from me, I feel the sudden compulsion to write - about everything.

Other than contributing to this blog, and starting my own personal blog, I've started to keep a journal again.

I carry this red journal in my bag everywhere I go - like in the old days - and if I have a few moments, I write.

I used to journal regularly for years. Well, until I became a full-time writer. Then it stopped. But now that I've stopped writing, the journalling has come back.

It tells me one thing: Writing is, and always will be, my natural choice for self-expression.

If there is anything I want to say, to put out there, it flows most naturally through the written word. And somehow, writing will find a way to bob up to the surface, even if I try to press it down like a beach ball in an ocean.

So what does it say about me being a... er, radio presenter then??? Hmm.

Don't forget me if you have interesting story ideas or writing projects... I will write for FREE.

Is Sarah Palin a Vanilla Woman?

2008-10-03T08:25:00.000-07:00

I know I'll probably be shot, grilled and eaten in strips for saying this but I love Sarah Palin. I'm not sure she's as sincere as she ought to be and yeah, she's definitely big on the power trip thing but she is 44, she is smart, and she is nowhere as dodgy as Obama. Oh and she has a VERY VERY cute baby. Sorry, I'm an emotional voter.

If Vanilla existed, we'd definitely be running a story on her!

Watch her ping-ponging barbs and bites with Joe "Old Guy" Biden here.

Happy (belated) Children's Day

2008-10-03T02:00:00.000-07:00

Whose writing is it anyway?

2008-10-01T21:41:00.000-07:00

***UPDATES (as on 3 Oct, 530pm): Wow, a very enthused response, I like. As such, I'd like to extend deadline to 5 Oct, Sunday, 6pm. Besides, yours truly won't have access to her comp nor internet over the weekend, so you've got more time to response! Have a good one folks.-- @

Ooh... I'm writing the first entry for October. :)

I wanted to share this with the team but completely forgot, no thanks to all the craziness of the past weeks.

OK. About a month ago, I took the liberty to get the Vanilla-iens handwriting analysed by an expert. It was supposed to be part of Nov issue's "Useful Last Page" but since that won't happen, I thought it'd be fun to share the "findings" here. It makes for a good insight (maybe) to the Vanilla-iens, and a chance to create some kinda reader participation-- if you (like to) believe in this stuff :)

Ok, Shaan, Jenn and Cas wrote a couple of lines for me but others were based on some rough notes (Theresa) and what Pam wrote on her x’mas card (last year) to me. The expert was Mr William Pang, handwriting forensics scientist who was at a Faber Castell event I went to (with Shaan) at Elephant & Coral at Wheelock Place.

He was very helpful, and super patient-- I say that because the moment the PR person announced we could all get our handwriting analysed by him, a loooooooooongggggg queue immediately snaked and I was the last few with SIX sets of handwritings for him to analyse at one go!!! I learned a lot from him. William's the go-to guy when the courts need someone to detect forgery in documents etc and has recently published a book on the subject (which alas is sold out, so contact him if you want to know how to get your hands on a copy). For more about William and what he does, check out http://www.graphology.gq.nu/

So... here's how I'm fun-ning it up for Theresa, Pam, Cass, Jenn and Shaan: Instead of telling you straight up which is yours, guess which's actually describing you! It's all verbatim to what William said. Or, you can also guess which describes who. Shaan, you already know yours, so shhhhh…Sorry ah Alvin, missed you out 'cause I was in a hurry and couldn't find any doodles you made and you weren't in the office at the time!)

**Contest closes on 3 Oct, Friday, 11.59pm Singapore time. Submit your answers through "comments". Readers/ followers are welcomed to participate... for fun!

p.s. Any resemblance to any persons or situations, past or present is merely coincidence or a cruel joke disguised as a coincidence.

==========

Thrives on systems/ methods to do work. Good sense of concentration. Friendly but needs a lot of personal and emotional space. Decision-making is not based on logic alone, but also on experiences and gut feel. Best job: admin/ training/ HR/ accounts.
Sensitive personality, usually affected by mood changes. Opportunistic in many ways, not patient to the non-essential, talkative to like-minded people. Needs to be prepared to listen more.
She's most comfortable when she knows what she's doing. Instructions given to her must be clear. She likes things to be secure-- no surprises. The mind matters over the heart; if something needs to be done, it needs/ will be done. A lot of artistic talent and appreciates the arts. She'd rather settle conflicts with tact rather than fight, is physically active, cannot sit still or just wait for things to happen. Is persistent, determined and critical at times. A one-way traffic type of person who has a generally formal nature.
Appears to be discipline about things she does. Comprehensive thinker, learns quickly. Good in communication. Strongest traits: analytical and investigative. An ambitious person who dares to take a fair amount of risk.
Fairly easy-going person who is definitely socially active though selective (to certain people). Decisions are made by intuition although routine work is acceptable, she'd like an amount of variety instead of just bekng glued to the table e.g. some hours in the office, some outside. A bit of a sensitive person who will not survive well in hard-selling/ high-pressure jobs.
The way she thinks is clean cut, likes a simplified lifestyle. She hates non-essentials and gets irritated quickly. She needs a lot of independence and will be the happriest if given a chance to express creativity. She doesn't like to be told more than once. She ensures that responsibilities are met and is non-negotiable in her final decisions.

A new beginning at 938LIVE...

2008-09-30T04:20:00.000-07:00

Today is my second day at 938LIVE. Although I feel completely overwhelmed by the amount of things I need to learn, I'm thankful that my new colleagues are really nice. And I have a great on-air buddy, Stanley.

It was a real eye-opener for me sit behind the "control panel". OK, I don't know what it's called, but it looks like an airplane cockpit. Here's the view from where I sit...

Can you believe I'll have to operate this contraption BY MYSELF soon? *faint* I can't even begin to explain to you what I have to do to switch from this to that to this to that.... and you know how tech-unsavvy I am!

The Living Room does about 2-3 interviews a day, so I will still get to meet all sorts of interesting people. But can you imagine the number of interviews we have to schedule? It's like 10-15 a week, almost 60 a month! :o

Stanley is really good at putting people at ease! He keeps the studio spick and span between interviews, and cares enough to make sure the interviewees have "warm" water to drink (apparently it calms them down!). He is also very patient teaching me. SIGH. I'm like learn yesterday, today forget already lor! :(

Here's a picture of the area around my desk:

My desk is the one on the right, with the packet of half-eaten Malay food on it. Yes, the people at 938LIVE also tabao from canteen and makan at their desks! :P

Sitting to my left (in white shirt) is Stanley -- look at his messy desk! He can't even eat his lunch there cos he only has one small, small space to move his computer mouse around! :o

The pretty lady in red is Casandra - she hosts Body and Soul - with the "blue blur" (in the pic) beside her, Daniel Martin. Melanie Oliveiro and Eugene Loh sit in front of me, on the other side.

It's a small cosy office. And since everyone takes turns going on air, the whole team is hardly around at the same time. But there is always friendly banter and laughter flying around. The vibes are very positive -- and that's most important to me.

I've got a nickname -- first thing in the morning already kena. :(

Because the office is so small and quiet in the mornings, everyone can hear everyone else typing on the computer keyboards. So here I was replying my email... tip-tapping away furiously... when Stanley looks up and says, "You can always tell when someone is from Publishing. They type like this lor..."

Daniel says it's like I'm killing my keyboard. And so my nickname now is Keyboard Killer. :(

As for the work........ let's just say it's a VERY STEEP learning curve for me. So many technical things I have to learn! I seriously think you need an engineering degree to be in radio. :P And that's just technical........

But I thank God for this opportunity.

There are Vanilla fans in CBC who come up to me to ask why Vanilla closed down, and how I'm coping. I tell them the truth: "I'm still grieving".

My chocolate buddy Diane sent me some Ferrero Rocher today. It arrived in the mail and when I read the note, I almost cried. It brought back a WAVE of memories of Publishing. Guys, I miss you!

But don't worry about me. I'm doing OK in radio and am enjoying the new adventure! As a dear friend would say, "All is good".

Missing you all, and wishing we can meet up again soon. Don't forget me!!!

"Is There Anything We Can Do To Reverse This Decision?"

2008-09-29T20:42:00.000-07:00

This letter arrived in my inbox yesterday. It really touched me. Liz, I hope you received my email — hope to see you here on our blogsite.

"Dear Theresa

I read with great dismay the news that your Oct issue of Vanilla will be the final one.

I actually did not believe my eyes when I first saw the little pick tag on the top right hand corner of the magazine and hastily turned to the editorial page to confirm my worst fears.

Did I miss reading something in the previous issue that led to this?

I am sure you are/will be receiving similar letters with the same note of surprise.

It's a real shame. Is there anything we readers could do to overcome it? Is it a lack of funding or a change in corporate directives?

I will miss reading your wonderful magazine and really need some closure to the big question in my head.

Look forward to hearing from you and do let us know if there is anything we can do to reverse this decision!

Best Regards

Mrs Liz Thong"

For every $500, you gotta pay $110 more.

2008-09-29T01:43:00.000-07:00

With this piece of news, I guess my Useful Last Page, "How To Save Your Electricity Bills" (Vanilla April'08 issue) really comes in useful now.

I'm sorta glad I could help. Ha!

And if next month's bill from Singapore Power is gonna bum you out (which I'm sure it's gonna be, who wouldn't, that's one heck-a-lot of an increment!!! Thank goodness I haven't had to pay any... YET), you can try watching this to cheer you up... a bit. It never fails to make me laugh although I've watched it for the umpteenth time.

One last thing, to all our Muslim friends out there: Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Maaf Zahir Batin. Man, this Ramadan surely zipped by.

Casandra Speaks!

2008-09-28T19:45:00.000-07:00

I joined Vanilla in Feb and initially, I had tonnes of worries like what if the team was like mean? What if I did a terrible job? Had many what-if this and that going through my mind.

Vanilla as my first-full time job, I'm just so lucky.
I don't regret a single day getting to know six amazing team members over the past 9 months.

Shaan - Like I told you before, its so much fun turning around and having those random gossips and chatter about crappy things. From the fat dude who wears the hula grass skirt to like a certain someone going back to India to get married! Well, now it's YOUR turn to get married. (I told you so!)

Adlena - Adlena Wong! Always giving Shaan and I THE FACE. Yea lah, you too cool for our lame jokes. HAHA! Hmmm, well, you're the first person I've met that eats pineapple with that grey powder! Anyway, I really really hope you can start running again! And don't worry about that certain someone you might have to sit next to. Just give her THE FACE. Hehh!

Theresa - You are the nicest and sweetest boss ever. Always helping us out and protecting us. Thanks for all your help when it came to you-know-who. I really really (x100) appreciate it. :)

Pam - I will never forget the time when you spoilt my birthday surprise! I can still remember you saying very loudly, "Shaan!? Why are you waiting for me in the TV room?"
Whenever I think back about it, it makes me smile. Pam, you make me smile! :)

Jenn - You can make me laugh and cry (its a good thing). You make me laugh at the things you say (jokes, lame stuff, normal talk) and cry automatically whenever you pray for me.

Alvin - the only guy in the team! Hearing you crack a joke or two is like, "wow! Alvin is being lame!" I wish you all the best in your new job posting!

Yummy Bakes and my Fave Food Writer...

2008-09-28T05:56:00.000-07:00

Today I found myself thinking of a story angle for food - "reinventing Polar Cafe".

My cousin Erlich makes the most terribly wickedest confections in the WHOLE WORLD (to fake a phrase from Lola & Charlie) and I think the Fullerton and the Ritz should either hire him or buy their pastries from him. (The photo here is of his famous Chocolate Caib, only 100,000 calories per slice)

One of his top bakes (apart from his awesome Apple Crumble and like, 50 flavours of muffins) is a perfect chocolate Swiss roll. The roll itself is like cloud fluff, and melts in the mouth, yet is firm. But the kicker is the layer of better-than-Valrhona chocolate that is rolled with the cake layer. Angels would sell their wings for a bite of this.

So it started me thinking, as I used to, about what a great column this would make. Reinventing Polar Cafe: How to do the Sugar Roll, Curry Puff and Hot Dog Roll the Vanilla way. I would be able to think these thoughts because I know if I just called or emailed our Vanilla food writer Sim Ee Waun, she would TOTALLY know what I'm talking about, and do a 200% better job than I would have imagined.

Ee Waun's got a funny food story for EVERY occasion, and I love that her solution for the world's woes is a lychee martini (hey, Ee Waun, we are very sad here, how about mixing us a pitcher, extra lychees please?). Ee Waun is 40 and a certified Sexy Dame. Her columns are laced with mission school propriety mixed with a winky-wink cheekiness that I just love.

Ee Waun, please do continue to contribute right here - any of your weird recipes are welcome but more so your quirky food stories. Your column is one of the major things I'll miss most about Vanilla, so do keep giving me a fix okay? :)

PS I'll see if I can steal Erlich's recipe to post here. But in case I've made you hungry, you can find his stall called Opus Deli at Lau Pa Sat. His website to keep you drooling: www.opusdeli.com (he's Catholic - can you tell? :D)

They tried to make me go but I said "No, no, no!"

2008-09-27T07:58:00.001-07:00

Well, that was the reaction I had (minus the Amy Winehouse-esque melodrama, quietly in my head, of course) when I heard the words, "we did a review and decided to close 4 magazines... including Vanilla", coming out of our MD's mouth. That was on 16 Sep-- a day or two after the news announced Lehman Brothers had gone bust. I think I can empathise with the shock and disappointment those guys probably experienced.

Everything from start to end's still fresh in my mind though.

Just slightly over a year ago, I picked up my first copy of Vanilla outside of TCC at Paradiz Centre after a cuppa coffee (ahh, the coffee that connects us all to Vanilla) with an ex-colleague. I read it and thought, wow, would be awesome to be able to write for this mag.

The next thing I knew, I was surfing the Mediacorp job site wishing and hoping for an opening (I saw there was only Pam and Stephanie (then senior ed) on the editorial team staff list and thought, hey they need a writer... like me!). There was an opening! The job description for the magazine was like a give-away, VV :). I took a long shot and emailed my resume directly to Stephanie. The next day she replied, "Yes, Vanilla's looking for a writer. I'll forward your application to HR." I was elated.

To cut the story short, I got my dream job. Being part of Vanilla is the first step to my field of dreams in magazine journalism.

For the past 15 months, I must say that going to work at Vanilla is like... brushing my teeth: I do it willingly, automatically, zealously every morning; it's something so simple yet meaningful and it's an oh-so-good a habit to have and keep!

Plus, I'm not sure where else in a workplace I could sneak out during lunch time to swim some laps at the nearby YCK pool without getting strange stares or shocking reactions like I have not (ok, maybe sometimes from Azmin, our ex-ed assistant who sat beside me; only she knew my lunch-time indulgences. Now you do too!) at Vanilla.

I also remember how Pam and I dropped our work and drove all the way to Empress Place to take part in an (impromptu) race last year! Of course I thought, my asst ed is nuts! But as a newbie, I just went along with it... plus I love running. It's my heart and soul. That's why it's a double blow for me when Vanilla closed. I just lost my ability to run (temporarily I hope) after my bunion surgery 3 months ago and now I can't write for Vanilla. Boohoo.

From the beginning I could see myself as a Vanilla-ien for light years to come, no kidding. It could've been a platform for me to prove to myself and my friends that "youngsters these days" (I was the youngest in the team until Cas, our ed asst and designer Jenn came along) can too stick to a job like our parents stuck to their jobs for decades. But that's not to be.

Nonetheless, I (as my fellow Vanilla-iens) see this as "when a door closes, another door opens" kinda situation. It has been so far; I'll be honing beauty journalism in Style:. I think it'll be another awesome (albeit different) experience so wish me luck!

A Stroke of Insight

2008-09-27T06:06:00.001-07:00

I studied Psychology for 6 years, and I remember being fascinated by how the human brain works -- the actual physical brain.

When my friend Adrian (he's this really smart guy doing his PhD) pointed me to this website www.TED.com, I checked it out cos to be honest, it was a boring Saturday afternoon and I had nothing better to do.

But TED is this amazing website that features inspiring speakers in various fields, sharing ideas that are... well, worth sharing!

Anyway, I chanced upon this woman psychiatrist called Jill Bolte Taylor who - at the age of 37 - suffered a stroke.

Imagine, a brain scientist who had a chance to study the phenomenon from the "inside", and recount the experience step by step. Compelling!

The best part is that Jill is very expressive, funny, and in touch with her emotions in a very "Mother Nature" sort of way. So she would re-enact the whole experience in vivid detail. I have to tell you -- she made me laugh and cry!

Why I am blogging about this?

Because at the end, it's about her discovery of what humans are capable of in creating a better world. And in my book, that's "VV". [refer to Threez's code]

So without spoiling the fun for you, here's the link: http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/jill_bolte_taylor_s_powerful_stroke_of_insight.html

Enjoy!

Elmo & Chris Brown See the Signs

2008-09-27T02:26:00.001-07:00

My little baby Becca LURVES this video. I thought I'd just share with you what has been cheering both Bec and me up... :) ENJOY!

(check out Elmo's dancing!)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpxw0iCP4q4

THE VANILLA CODE

2008-09-27T02:05:00.000-07:00

When I started working at Vanilla - 23 November 2007 to be exact - I realised that there is a particular DNA to the Vanilla woman and all she believes in -- body, mind and spirit.

One of the most fun parts of putting each month's Vanilla together was talking about the women we were going to feature.

Pam and I came up with a code that would help us to sort of talk about people and personalities without offending anyone (external) listening:

VV = Very Vanilla. This would apply to all our cover girls - they each embody a sense of love, integrity, selflessness that was the antithesis of the "me myself and I" spirit that women are commonly encouraged to have ("you better look out for yourself", "Marry someone who loves you more than you love him", "Of course you should divorce your husband - the other guy is a much better catch and after all, your husband is boring.") I loved that we never failed to find our VV girls -- who were never about themselves, but others.

QV = Quite Vanilla. A woman who embodies some of the key qualities of a Vanilla woman but needed more "checking out" before we could decide if we should feature her :)

NVV = Not Very Vanilla. Some women who wanted to be featured in Vanilla but lacked essential qualities. However, sometimes these women had some redeeming qualities and so we put them in our KIV basket for future consideration.

VNV = Very Not Vanilla. This is the extreme - the "devil who wears Prada" as it were. This is the woman who could not care less if orphans ate rats tails for breakfast as long as her new bikini does not make her look fat. Fortunately we did not come across many -- though there were a few who outright asked us if we wanted to put them on the cover and we politely said no.

I know it sounds a bit NVV to even have a code but I guess we just had to make decisions. Though Pam did tell me sometimes that people deserve a second chance... Well, I guess given Vanilla's short shelf-life we never had that luxury, but it would have been interesting if we could have talked about women who totally turned over a new leaf... now that would have been a great Vanilla feature...

Saying Goodbye

2008-09-26T09:51:00.000-07:00

Someone once told me that life is cyclical - sometimes you're way up top, and other times, you find yourself right at the bottom. The bright side of being at the bottom (yes, there is a bright side) is that, as Yazz sang in the 80s, the only way is up.

I was at an all time high exactly two weeks ago to the day. I was four days into my surprise trip to France, in a tiny town which wasn't even on the map, in the Champagne region of the country - being proposed to under a million stars during a midnight stroll. The days that followed were filled with blue skies, swimming in pristine waters in St. Tropez, walking along the Seine, staying in chateaus and driving along country roads with the one person I've loved for the last six years. Three days before returning home, we got robbed of everything - passports, surprise tickets to watch madonna in paris, laptop, camera with my 600 precious photos, phones, credit cards and a substantial amount of cash. But even that couldn't bring us down for long and we got immigration papers from the embassy and bought replacement tickets to watch Madonna throw the biggest party ever at the Stade de France in Paris on our last night.

What did bring me down was the last thing I expected to discover in the first hour of my first day back at work - Vanilla's end. As Theresa mentioned in her first blog entry, I could not believe it was happening, had happened all while I was away on vacation. Over the last few days, with the support of Theresa, Pam and the team who have all had a week or so to adjust to the reality, I think i'm finally there too. I finally realize that there will be other avenues, other ways of putting our message out there, and as someone really wise told me yesterday, we each have the Vanilla DNA in us, to inject into whatever work we set out to do. It won't be easy to find something I will be as passionate about and as proud of, but I know I've come out of this with amazing lifelong friends, knowing we've made a difference and fifteen issues I'll always treasure...

Goodbye, Vanilla. Je t'aime.

Start of Something New

2008-09-26T00:47:00.000-07:00

I'm clearing leave these 2 days. Being at home isn't too good for an energiser bunny like me. :(

I miss the sense of purpose, being on Vanilla. Each month, we brainstorm as a team. We share about things that excite us - be it amazing women we've found, or cool new spots, or travel... I'm serious, we truly love Vanilla!

I remember one day, Shaan said from out of the blue: "Vanilla is really the best magazine."

I looked up and stared at her for a moment, with raised eyebrow. "Sorry?" I said.

"Vanilla is really the best magazine," Shaan repeats. She's dead serious. "There's nothing else like it."

I had to smile. Because I felt exactly the same way.

Vanilla is a labour of love. I wouldn't be lying if I said I would work on those cover stories and cover features for free. It never feels like work.

So having to let go of this amazing product that I love and believe in is - to say the least - painful. It's so much a part of me that it feels like tearing something out fibre by fibre, nerve by nerve.

BUT we are all Vanilla women after all.

Like our Oct cover feature "Lost and Found", I learnt that yes, we may have lost something precious, but this can open a door to something unexpectedly good (I wouldn't say better). It's not the end of the world.

Isn't life all about being open to possibilities, grabbing them with both hands, giving ourselves 100% to them, and living out our purpose, wherever we are called? =)

As our Oct cover girl puts it, Carpe Diem! Sieze the day.

I believe that if the modern Singapore woman wants a Vanilla voice, something new will rise from the rubble again. And soon.

Theresa clears her cubicle

2008-09-24T08:20:00.000-07:00

I hate packing.

I feel like I've been packing, clearing, cleaning for 4 years.

It began with my parents' HDB maisonette -- nearly 40 years of memories (and quite a few not-quite-vintage, definitely-spoilt gadgets). It took me 1 year to clear out that flat, clean it up, and finally sell it.

Then my husband and I bought a new house after selling our apartment so we can house his parents and our brood. More packing, more storage, more clearing.

And now, just as we are about to move into our new place, I'm packing at home, and I'm packing at work.

There is, suddenly, great poetry in "living out of a suitcase". I confess I'm tempted.

Thanks Jenn (sweetheart designer) for moving my (mere) 3, neatly packed boxes upstairs to our new (much, much smaller and much, much noisier) abode.

7 Days Since Vanilla Died

2008-09-23T05:03:00.000-07:00

It has been 7 days since Vanilla magazine was put to rest.

Last Tuesday, the news was broken to our team and 3 other magazine teams. It was a business decision that had to be made - a painful one for everyone involved, because our bosses read Vanilla too. Vanilla was a much-loved title.

Shaan wasn't at the meeting -- she was in Europe with her boyfriend (now fiance) Jeremy. So the rest of us have had about a week for the news and the shock to sink in, and to explore the various job options our company were offering us. That's the good thing about being part of MediaCorp -- it's like a big family.

I tried calling Shaan on Sunday, about 12 times yesterday, and this morning. I was beginning to get worried because I kept getting the message "The subscriber's mobile phone is not in service. Please try again later."

The same message over 48 hours seemed unlikely - I was beginning to imagine she and Jeremy had been kidnapped by the gypsies...

But when I showed up at work this morning there was my sweet Shaan. Our area looked like a hurricane had been through it - there was newspaper all over the computers and Shaan's computer was totally gone.

Poor girl had no inkling... when I broke the news to her, she looked totally shocked and crushed.

We love Vanilla -- always have, always will. The chance to work on such a different magazine, a publication that celebrated the every day woman, was a chance in a lifetime. We had letters every month that told us how much Vanilla had changed our readers' lives for the better - restoring marriages, reuniting daughters and moms, inspiring readers to look their best (yes you can!) no matter what body shape you are...

Shaan's forlorn, "tell me it's not true" look broke my heart...

Last night the rest of us went out for dinner because I thought Shaan was going to be back and Pam's going on leave so I thought we wouldn't have a chance later on in the week. We went to Kuishin-Bo at Suntec City, and were joined by our ex-CD Jennifer and ex-Group Ed Juleen Shaw, the "original Vanilla team". Pigged out on snow crab (yummmm) and a million other things... It was lovely to be in the company of a group of people I now call friends.

What will happen to us next?

Stay tuned...